In the office its like putting myself at the warfront. I call for meetings and rectify situations. I have to wear confidence on my sleeves, I have to armour myself with knowledge so that I can defend myself questions that shoots out from the floor like machine guns. I am capable to answer all, but the process is wearing me out. Its 12 against 1. At the end of the day I only have my weary self to fall back on. You were once my emotional support. But like all things mortal, good things come to an end, eventually and surely. I learned to take things in my stride. Let nature run its course. You were good to have but not a necessity. I guess this is the result of a default independence that I must have. But not everything has to be done this way, for God made social relations part and parcel of life. Humans can decide whether to be both emotionally dependent or independent. It's a grey area of speculation. Some find it easier alone, some find it better in doubles. Either way it's a matter of choice. & unfortunately, yours feature solitude.
Essay due on Sunday. Tomorrow its a friend's birthday. I'e committed myself to folding balloon sculptures for the underpriviledged kids for a short while too. & the spreadsheets I have to come out with for work is also taxing. It helps if along the way I get a word of encouragement for a recharge of determination when my energy runs low. Dad is supportive. & so are my closer friends. Im glad that at the end of the day, everything works out fine somehow.
I just hope the internet connection gets restored by today. the telco company's fibre internet cables got burnt in a fire and I have no access to the crucial internet information these days. Let's pray for the best.
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