When it's over, still, happy birthday

I remember how you used to run your finger through my hair. I remember how you held my hands so tight as if you were afraid I'll run away. I remember how safe I felt in your arms. I remember how you call me "you stupid" so endearingly I felt like I know how hopelessly I was in love with you, but yet I still did. I remember how we used to spend time together and nothing else used to matter. I remember how you took my hands in yours and led me to start dancing in the streets, as if we were alone in the world. I remember all the bitter sweet meeting and partings at the airport. I remember how we bought out favourite things and you fed me till we finished it. I remembered how you used to tell me "I love you" a hundred times a day. I remember how much you wanted me every single minute you're living. I remembered how you used to address me with endearing Korean terms "자기" or "애기". Then I remember the things I did for you, the late nights I had to brave through alone when you weren't there. I remembered how you didn't feel like trying for us, and how you eventually decided not to try. I remember wanting to talk to you about it, to understand how you feel only to be shoved off with your anger. I remember you were pissed at me. I remember you were angry at me. I remember how tired you were when you tried to explain how we're not going to work out when all I did was to convince you to come back. I remember how tired sick you were of our relationship. I remember the day you decided to give up, that cruel image of your back towards me, and the day you walked away. 

I remember how yesterday used to be better than today.

I remember us as a bitter-sweet heartbreak

I remember how I'm left with nothing but a huge heartache. 

I'm remembering so many things. &

Today, I remember it's your birthday.