你对我来说， 就像是空气， 无论在哪里， 你都存在着。 总之有着气息， 就会有你在我的心里。 可是， 想念是一种矛盾。有一个人可以挂念着，固然幸福， 但也可以让人感到很卑微， 很辛苦， 很曲折。 想念久了， 想念着一个不想念你的人， 会演变成一阵阵会呼吸的痛。
这次你真的伤到我了，오빠.
很想告诉你现在的心情， 但想了想， 已经告诉你很多次了。 我真的受伤了， 真的累了。 不会再要求你多爱我一点， 不会再要求你关心我一点。 如果你看到这样的我， 你还可以漠不关心， 你开心就好吧。
再想想， 还是想见不能见最痛。
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
深
to sink deep too deep in a relationship is to have the humility to lose all sense of dignity and apologize even when you're not in the wrong. but I don't even know what went wrong, because all I really wanted was to talk to someone and to try to get closer to our goals.
after an entire night of 'dilligence' and faltering faith in my studying, an argument over the ridiculous was really not the first thing I was going for. I'm trying to figure out what went wrong, and I'm thinking so hard. Perhaps my complaints about how difficult my exams were, seem to have affected your life in a sort of negative way. I'm sorry I went to the wrong person to pour my heart out.
& to be clear, I never looked down on professions so if you were in any way felt that I was insinuating how lowly any job was, you're wrong. I swear to god the only thing I looked down on, was the lack of will to even work to support themselves. Sloth is number one on my list of things to hate.
I was not looking to win any arguments either. But good to know that's how you saw me.
Period. The person whom I most wanted to tell everything to, wasn't willing to. Who else would I confide in then?
有时候， 想想， 为什么要在一起？为什么要吵架？吵架不如不在一起好。 吵架是每段恋情悲剧的开始。 为什么要受这种折磨？为什么要放下尊严说对不起？有时候好想放弃， 但又不舍得， 也怕你会孤单。 又要哭了， 又要心痛了。 又要怕被抛弃了， 又要伤心了。 但在伤心时还是会为你着想。 为什么那么伟大， 为什么不会自私？
因为这就是爱， 因为这就是人生。
after an entire night of 'dilligence' and faltering faith in my studying, an argument over the ridiculous was really not the first thing I was going for. I'm trying to figure out what went wrong, and I'm thinking so hard. Perhaps my complaints about how difficult my exams were, seem to have affected your life in a sort of negative way. I'm sorry I went to the wrong person to pour my heart out.
& to be clear, I never looked down on professions so if you were in any way felt that I was insinuating how lowly any job was, you're wrong. I swear to god the only thing I looked down on, was the lack of will to even work to support themselves. Sloth is number one on my list of things to hate.
I was not looking to win any arguments either. But good to know that's how you saw me.
Period. The person whom I most wanted to tell everything to, wasn't willing to. Who else would I confide in then?
有时候， 想想， 为什么要在一起？为什么要吵架？吵架不如不在一起好。 吵架是每段恋情悲剧的开始。 为什么要受这种折磨？为什么要放下尊严说对不起？有时候好想放弃， 但又不舍得， 也怕你会孤单。 又要哭了， 又要心痛了。 又要怕被抛弃了， 又要伤心了。 但在伤心时还是会为你着想。 为什么那么伟大， 为什么不会自私？
因为这就是爱， 因为这就是人生。
Monday, May 20, 2013
the morphosis of time
Its amazing how time changes things, and how people change time. Time was never really changed though, but out perceptions and treatment of it made all the difference. I once read an article about how the perceptions of time changed. Before the roll out of mobile technology, people never seemed to have difficulty in meeting up. They state the time and place, and people show up early or on time just so they would not worry about whether people showed up or not, or that there was this fear that the other party would have to wait too long. But now that we have mobile phones, time became an unwilling vitcim of abuse. Time became "elastic", the supposed meeting time at 1 pm became 1.05pm, then 1.15pm, then 1.30pm, then 2pm and so on just because there is some sort of accountability, that we could always update each other about our current position and our difficulties in getting on time. Funny how these problems never seemed to take shape in the past.
The irony.
Not that I'm not guilty. I'm absolutely a perpetrator & I admit. What I'm not, is the kind who abuse not time, but their attitude toward their loved ones with regard to time. I've met people who gave excuses for not doing something which would probably only take 1 to 2 mins of their lives, but they just said "I didn't have time". I've come to learn, that phrase just basically meant "I don't really care". & that, is just disappointing, especially when it's someone important to you.
Nevermind about people who don't care, & shift the focus to people I care. Jia min's birthday celebration is being brought forward because she'll be on a trip & we'd totally miss her birthday. & in the midst of my busy exam preparation, I bothered so much to google what cake to get for her and ordered one, because she's one of the people I really really love & I can't wait to see how happy she'd be when she sees it. (:
I'm not sure if she'll see this. I hope not & if she didn't see it I'm so gonna laugh at her because some part of her is dying to know. LOL.
Happy bday in advance for now babe! (: <3 br="">
The irony.
Not that I'm not guilty. I'm absolutely a perpetrator & I admit. What I'm not, is the kind who abuse not time, but their attitude toward their loved ones with regard to time. I've met people who gave excuses for not doing something which would probably only take 1 to 2 mins of their lives, but they just said "I didn't have time". I've come to learn, that phrase just basically meant "I don't really care". & that, is just disappointing, especially when it's someone important to you.
Nevermind about people who don't care, & shift the focus to people I care. Jia min's birthday celebration is being brought forward because she'll be on a trip & we'd totally miss her birthday. & in the midst of my busy exam preparation, I bothered so much to google what cake to get for her and ordered one, because she's one of the people I really really love & I can't wait to see how happy she'd be when she sees it. (:
Glace Strawberry Souffle!
picture taken from Glace's website! I'm not sure if she'll see this. I hope not & if she didn't see it I'm so gonna laugh at her because some part of her is dying to know. LOL.
Happy bday in advance for now babe! (: <3 br="">
Saturday, May 18, 2013
living with nightmares
Like I've mentioned, I dream a lot. This time, it was us, human race, vulnerable to the invasion of aliens, we have to walk the streets with extra care. We supposedly maintain a harmonious relationship with these aliens. They don't exactly are the typical hideous, dismembered creatures as they are frequently portrayed in films and art pieces alike. They look exactly like us, but perhaps, they operate their daily lives with a more degenerate set of mannerism that they are still trying to hone. the resulting effect is the need for us to accomodate and accept that they bring in these crude demeanour. I remember once I occupied the seats in a restaurant and a family of four came sitting on our table seeing that we were about to finish, and did not even have the intention to ask before they "snatched" the table. I was so angry I wanted to confront them but apparently they possess supernatural powers and a mystic aura that was frightening and dominating at the same time. My friends pulled me away and there was nothing I could do.
We finally acquired the ways of teleportation, where it involves the disintegration of human into molecules and somehow, these molecules probably get replicated elsewhere and built into a real human. The old molecules, upon the succession of building of the new one, self-destructs. This isn't exactly the best kind of technology because it provides a means of villains to infiltrate the city to cause more social problems. and as the aliens' technique is more advanced, they again, gain the upper edge. We humans, are supressed in many ways from having the common sense not to agitate the aliens. However, for some reason, my family was particularly under the watch and threat of these aliens. We went on a trip to the USA, with dad and younger brother. Elder brother was to join but he would be later. We travelled by means of teleportation. I asked elder brother to bring me my favourite toy over because I forgot. He had it, but somehow the aliens got it back through means of teleportation I think. my favourite toy was somehow gone. I was so angry. But I was helpless.
Then, we went out on the streets. somehow we were driving and a group of american intelligencers hopped onto our van with a criminal. I was charged to ensure the criminal could not escape. They had a complicated lock on the criminal's hands tied to the handlebars in the car. It was an extremely complicated puzzle that only people with a certain IQ can untangle themselves from it. somehow the criminal did and he opened the door slightly. I held onto his pants with my whole life to ensure he does not escape. I talked to him with much gentleness and pleaded him not to run. He then harrassed me sexually and looked at me with lasciviciously with a perverse look. I felt as if I was already "eaten up" by him. But he still submitted to me in the end and seemingly trusted me.
The scenes shifted and I was doing shopping with the girls. wee ling pestered me to go to bangkok (and so it was in real life because she was not in the best company). We roamed and it was filled with spooky clowns and wax figures set up as part of an artistic display. I did not freak out and it appears as if it was the norm in that world, that such typical icons of fright were much embraced as art. but now that I think about it, I shudder.
Then we happily went out on the streets, I knew I was scared somehow but I don't know why. I went ahead and when I was about to cross the road, I was held back by Jordan. Then, I witnessed the most horrific accident ever. a truck about 10 to 15 metres long, it was a colossal monster truck, so huge that it probably have the capacity to hold a few thousand people. it did a 3 point turn on the highway. but when it was about to turn into the other lane, the engine probably proved too much of a force. it went straight, the driver tried to swerve into the lane right, in trying to navigate from a tight corner, a compellingly violent centrifugal force pulled the monster truck to the right, compromised at least 1 km of the entire stretch of highway walls, and the truck descended from the height.
It all happened in 3 seconds. I was stupefied. so stunned I couldnt move. I quickly ran to the catastrophic scene. The monster truck pulled alot of cars along with it. all I see is a pool of blood stained river and heaps of bodies. What innocent lives.
I wake up in shock and perspiration. my heart could not stop pumping. my head was so heavy I could not wake up entirely. All these nightmarish scenes starts to fade while I document my dream. But I still can't shake the feeling of dread and fear away. I kept wishing boyfriend was here to hug me. he's not. So I cover myself in blanket and I feel so much like crying.
Those are definitely reflections of how tortured I feel in real life. By the bad decisions I've made and the people I disappoint on a daily basis.
Alien episode: existed to keep my mortal urges in check. They show how ugly my behaviour recently was and the fact that I was disgusted by their ill manners simply reminded me how much I don't want to be like them.
Teleportation: An easy runaway tool but it has its disadvantages. In fact the kind of runaway mechanism in here is flight in the most extreme form ever. it reminded me of the ills of running away and how I could lose people of the things I love in reality. I really learned my lesson. Sometimes I guess, I just have to face up to issues and never take flight.
FBI episode: criminal invigilating. reminds me of my powers of persuasion I guess? for my literature essay? The sexual harrassment must have stemmed from my reading of multiple critical appreciation essays that revolves around the topic of sexuality and woman as the subject of men's basal desires. Yeah I study these. It's the human condition so don't judge. Human condition: Birth, sex, death. The 3 things that every human is bound to experience unless you're telling me you're a celibate priest or nun. okay. period.
shopping: echoing my longing for freedom to shop perhaps. but the clowns and frightening towns perhaps exist to remind me of my artsy fartsy exams that I still have to face, they should be there to curb my urges. & perhaps at the same time, to remind me not to burn my pocket and to keep me away from the shops. but seriously. clowns and scarecrows? It's a little extreme brain, don't you think. This time u carried the joke wayyyy too far.
monster truck catasprophe: my life was saved, thank god. But the thousands of people who died? I seriously don't know what to interpret of this. I don't want to think of this. This one seriously is the most grim and gruesome one. oh lord please help me.
my active mind just can't give me the peace I need. Someone please help my tortured mind cease thinking.
We finally acquired the ways of teleportation, where it involves the disintegration of human into molecules and somehow, these molecules probably get replicated elsewhere and built into a real human. The old molecules, upon the succession of building of the new one, self-destructs. This isn't exactly the best kind of technology because it provides a means of villains to infiltrate the city to cause more social problems. and as the aliens' technique is more advanced, they again, gain the upper edge. We humans, are supressed in many ways from having the common sense not to agitate the aliens. However, for some reason, my family was particularly under the watch and threat of these aliens. We went on a trip to the USA, with dad and younger brother. Elder brother was to join but he would be later. We travelled by means of teleportation. I asked elder brother to bring me my favourite toy over because I forgot. He had it, but somehow the aliens got it back through means of teleportation I think. my favourite toy was somehow gone. I was so angry. But I was helpless.
Then, we went out on the streets. somehow we were driving and a group of american intelligencers hopped onto our van with a criminal. I was charged to ensure the criminal could not escape. They had a complicated lock on the criminal's hands tied to the handlebars in the car. It was an extremely complicated puzzle that only people with a certain IQ can untangle themselves from it. somehow the criminal did and he opened the door slightly. I held onto his pants with my whole life to ensure he does not escape. I talked to him with much gentleness and pleaded him not to run. He then harrassed me sexually and looked at me with lasciviciously with a perverse look. I felt as if I was already "eaten up" by him. But he still submitted to me in the end and seemingly trusted me.
The scenes shifted and I was doing shopping with the girls. wee ling pestered me to go to bangkok (and so it was in real life because she was not in the best company). We roamed and it was filled with spooky clowns and wax figures set up as part of an artistic display. I did not freak out and it appears as if it was the norm in that world, that such typical icons of fright were much embraced as art. but now that I think about it, I shudder.
Then we happily went out on the streets, I knew I was scared somehow but I don't know why. I went ahead and when I was about to cross the road, I was held back by Jordan. Then, I witnessed the most horrific accident ever. a truck about 10 to 15 metres long, it was a colossal monster truck, so huge that it probably have the capacity to hold a few thousand people. it did a 3 point turn on the highway. but when it was about to turn into the other lane, the engine probably proved too much of a force. it went straight, the driver tried to swerve into the lane right, in trying to navigate from a tight corner, a compellingly violent centrifugal force pulled the monster truck to the right, compromised at least 1 km of the entire stretch of highway walls, and the truck descended from the height.
It all happened in 3 seconds. I was stupefied. so stunned I couldnt move. I quickly ran to the catastrophic scene. The monster truck pulled alot of cars along with it. all I see is a pool of blood stained river and heaps of bodies. What innocent lives.
I wake up in shock and perspiration. my heart could not stop pumping. my head was so heavy I could not wake up entirely. All these nightmarish scenes starts to fade while I document my dream. But I still can't shake the feeling of dread and fear away. I kept wishing boyfriend was here to hug me. he's not. So I cover myself in blanket and I feel so much like crying.
Those are definitely reflections of how tortured I feel in real life. By the bad decisions I've made and the people I disappoint on a daily basis.
Alien episode: existed to keep my mortal urges in check. They show how ugly my behaviour recently was and the fact that I was disgusted by their ill manners simply reminded me how much I don't want to be like them.
Teleportation: An easy runaway tool but it has its disadvantages. In fact the kind of runaway mechanism in here is flight in the most extreme form ever. it reminded me of the ills of running away and how I could lose people of the things I love in reality. I really learned my lesson. Sometimes I guess, I just have to face up to issues and never take flight.
FBI episode: criminal invigilating. reminds me of my powers of persuasion I guess? for my literature essay? The sexual harrassment must have stemmed from my reading of multiple critical appreciation essays that revolves around the topic of sexuality and woman as the subject of men's basal desires. Yeah I study these. It's the human condition so don't judge. Human condition: Birth, sex, death. The 3 things that every human is bound to experience unless you're telling me you're a celibate priest or nun. okay. period.
shopping: echoing my longing for freedom to shop perhaps. but the clowns and frightening towns perhaps exist to remind me of my artsy fartsy exams that I still have to face, they should be there to curb my urges. & perhaps at the same time, to remind me not to burn my pocket and to keep me away from the shops. but seriously. clowns and scarecrows? It's a little extreme brain, don't you think. This time u carried the joke wayyyy too far.
monster truck catasprophe: my life was saved, thank god. But the thousands of people who died? I seriously don't know what to interpret of this. I don't want to think of this. This one seriously is the most grim and gruesome one. oh lord please help me.
my active mind just can't give me the peace I need. Someone please help my tortured mind cease thinking.
Friday, May 17, 2013
epic failure
I'm a classic example of an epic failure. Once again, I've enslaved myself to my weakness - avoidance. I have fears I cannot overcome, and having no confidence in my exams is one thing I cannot face. I am very well aware of how irresponsible it is of me to run away. This penchance for eluding reality grips really violently at my conscience. Trust me, it does. the kind of guilt I experience is horrifying. Not only it haunts, but it also strips me of all dignity, replaces it with extreme inferiority, and pushes me to face each and every one I have failed again. I look down in shame. I berate myself for every single faulted decision I've made to have brought me here today. I'm sorry. That's all I have to say.
I have the most loving boyfriend. some part of me wished you've forced me to just get it over and done with. Yet some part of me wished you knew I'd like to give myself another chance to try harder next time. But I was just glad you were supportive anyhow. I'm more than grateful & I love you.
I have the most supportive friends too. I'm glad you never discriminate. Your excelling in your academics never once made you too proud for me, and I'm feel so so blessed that you still regard me as your friend. Not only you were never boastful, you recognised the good in me. What a god sent angel you guys are. You both endearingly said it's okay, you believe I'd be better next time. I appreciated your kindness and I take it all in so thankfully.
I'm just so glad that I didn't have to face any criticism and condemnation for they are really the last thing I need right now. Yet your comforting words sink me deeper into the depths of my guilty conscience. Therefore, I'm resolved to right this wrong.
I promise I won't let you guys down again. Not that I have anymore chances anyway. :p
I have the most loving boyfriend. some part of me wished you've forced me to just get it over and done with. Yet some part of me wished you knew I'd like to give myself another chance to try harder next time. But I was just glad you were supportive anyhow. I'm more than grateful & I love you.
I have the most supportive friends too. I'm glad you never discriminate. Your excelling in your academics never once made you too proud for me, and I'm feel so so blessed that you still regard me as your friend. Not only you were never boastful, you recognised the good in me. What a god sent angel you guys are. You both endearingly said it's okay, you believe I'd be better next time. I appreciated your kindness and I take it all in so thankfully.
I'm just so glad that I didn't have to face any criticism and condemnation for they are really the last thing I need right now. Yet your comforting words sink me deeper into the depths of my guilty conscience. Therefore, I'm resolved to right this wrong.
I promise I won't let you guys down again. Not that I have anymore chances anyway. :p
solitary nights
I love the nights. I love everything about nights except that sometimes it can get a little eerie. It's best when edward honey is here to hold me tight so I feel safe and secure. The silence and street void of people are my favourite features, because I'm sick of the busy city life droning like noisy train tracks and of loud club music or even people chattering like the notorious magpies. However, the silence is defeaning when I'm not doing something I like, especially during exam nights I get extraordinarily irritated and my thoughts wonder. I'm born to think a lot, or my upbringing made me think a lot about life. These thoughts go wild like neurotic mongrels unleashed, with characteristically world war-like scenes playing inside my head. It's a disaster up there & it's beyond my control. I have a natural inclination to fantasize and imagine, castles and fairy tales and haunted mansions and devils with equal measure. the last I dreamt of was having the honour of Hello Kitty in a hair salon doing up our hairs together, I saw her walking into the hairdresser white, coming out dyed all baby pink and her hair permed. What a pretty cat.
The chinese saying goes like this, “日有所思， 夜有所梦”, meaning what you think about in the the day would occur in your dreams at night. I definitely did not think about Hello Kitty in the day, but the colour pink did recently start to grow on me. But you, I think about you day and night, in my conscious day and unconscious night. I dreamt of so many episodes of you sometimes I forget to tell you about it. But I loved the most recent one because it gave me most hope to hang on to us. I dreamt that you got me a simple, unadorned ring and you proposed. It wasn't the typical high in carat with fancy diamond cuts but I was definitely, undoubtedly the happiest girl in the world. I would never have traded that moment or you for anything else, because what we had in that dream was real. You proposed to me at your worst & I still couldnt wait to marry you. That moment made me think. I really really really, really, really loved you. For better or worse, I want to be the one, and I wanted you to be the one, for my happily-ever-after night-time fantasies and day-time reality.
I am so impatient at times, and I am foolish I admit. You always say "good things are worth the wait", you're better than just good. You're the best. Sometimes I lose hold of my emotions and I sincerely apologize. I was wrong. I should have been more patient with us. I'm sorry if I said things that hurt you. It's the last thing I ever want to do to you. Please forgive me.
Sometimes I may be telling you too much of how much I loved you. I'm not sure if that's a right move because I'm afraid I'll push you away. It's only okay if it was that mutual. sometimes too much of a good thing may prove to be malicious. But I can't stand not letting you know, I can't stand not being honest. But is it better to hold back sometimes? If it is please let me know & I'll change my ways. But until you protest, every single day, I'll continue to love you my way, every single day is a hard earned moment for us, and I will continue to forge my undivided love for you in the most romantic ways, through the many communicative platforms I can ever reach out to you, with the simplest words packed with the utmost genuinity and all of my heart, every single day, I must and will tell you that...
I love you.
The chinese saying goes like this, “日有所思， 夜有所梦”, meaning what you think about in the the day would occur in your dreams at night. I definitely did not think about Hello Kitty in the day, but the colour pink did recently start to grow on me. But you, I think about you day and night, in my conscious day and unconscious night. I dreamt of so many episodes of you sometimes I forget to tell you about it. But I loved the most recent one because it gave me most hope to hang on to us. I dreamt that you got me a simple, unadorned ring and you proposed. It wasn't the typical high in carat with fancy diamond cuts but I was definitely, undoubtedly the happiest girl in the world. I would never have traded that moment or you for anything else, because what we had in that dream was real. You proposed to me at your worst & I still couldnt wait to marry you. That moment made me think. I really really really, really, really loved you. For better or worse, I want to be the one, and I wanted you to be the one, for my happily-ever-after night-time fantasies and day-time reality.
I am so impatient at times, and I am foolish I admit. You always say "good things are worth the wait", you're better than just good. You're the best. Sometimes I lose hold of my emotions and I sincerely apologize. I was wrong. I should have been more patient with us. I'm sorry if I said things that hurt you. It's the last thing I ever want to do to you. Please forgive me.
Sometimes I may be telling you too much of how much I loved you. I'm not sure if that's a right move because I'm afraid I'll push you away. It's only okay if it was that mutual. sometimes too much of a good thing may prove to be malicious. But I can't stand not letting you know, I can't stand not being honest. But is it better to hold back sometimes? If it is please let me know & I'll change my ways. But until you protest, every single day, I'll continue to love you my way, every single day is a hard earned moment for us, and I will continue to forge my undivided love for you in the most romantic ways, through the many communicative platforms I can ever reach out to you, with the simplest words packed with the utmost genuinity and all of my heart, every single day, I must and will tell you that...
I love you.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
bloodshot eyes
I looked into the mirror and it reflects strands of veins in my bloodshot eyes. They open up like tree branches and each node seems to tell a story. They're all under the brimming tears I can't hold in and they magnify, I see the reasons behind each established lines of despair while the tears kept getting pumped in the duct. & this is what I see.
The baby pink one: my favourite one. its my princess vein where possibly if any royalty blood flows in me, it definitely comes from this. dad, younger brother, friends and boyfriend, you all have treated me like one at different points of my life, & tears from this definitely are tears of gratitude, and of love
The rosy pink vein: It reminds me of how we got together and how happy we were. Yet it was there because of the loss I felt when I feel like I could lose it all. The more attached and blissful we were only cemented the possibility of loss deeper. Yet everything about you is so romantic, this line would forever remain pink, just for you.
The scarlet red vein: It tells the story of abandonment. My mother issues creeps in everytime I had to cry. I don't have one really. Mother, you are just a title and embody none of what society celebrates you for. you exist but never existed. I cry for the lost childhood and I wish I would experience a little more of it in my next lifetime
The really bloody, dark red one: everyone has a dark side and this one looks significantly redder and thicker. It must have contained all the pent-up frustrations and anger I have failed to supress. They look as if they were on the brink of eruption. I smell vengence and feel lots of hate emanating from that one. Just looking at it scares me to death. Oh wait, it did reek of death. It's living reminder of all the unpleasant people and events that made it up. It compels me to do things I'll regret. Please don't rupture, I'll send for tools for mitigation. Please wait.
The ruby red one: Its everything I wanted in my future and it sparkles like a real gem. It's alluring and asthetically pleasing. i was so hoping I could bring it out crystalised like swarovskis & it could be profitting if I could ever make crystals of my own. even this farfetched thinking seem possible looking at it. Yet, its there because somehow my present seems more than bleak. What cruel fate.
They weave and intertwine. it parallels my conflicting emotions. you are my comfort and at the same time my source of discomfort. This complexity is what propels the engines of my tear ducts. I weep at the impossibiltiy of us. I weep because of the people I care most about didn't care. Wallowing in self-pity is what I do best & too bad I can't grow up like that.
Let me regress to become 3 year old again. Let me reset my eyes so I have no red threads of anguish.
Let me rewind and repeat life again.
The baby pink one: my favourite one. its my princess vein where possibly if any royalty blood flows in me, it definitely comes from this. dad, younger brother, friends and boyfriend, you all have treated me like one at different points of my life, & tears from this definitely are tears of gratitude, and of love
The rosy pink vein: It reminds me of how we got together and how happy we were. Yet it was there because of the loss I felt when I feel like I could lose it all. The more attached and blissful we were only cemented the possibility of loss deeper. Yet everything about you is so romantic, this line would forever remain pink, just for you.
The scarlet red vein: It tells the story of abandonment. My mother issues creeps in everytime I had to cry. I don't have one really. Mother, you are just a title and embody none of what society celebrates you for. you exist but never existed. I cry for the lost childhood and I wish I would experience a little more of it in my next lifetime
The really bloody, dark red one: everyone has a dark side and this one looks significantly redder and thicker. It must have contained all the pent-up frustrations and anger I have failed to supress. They look as if they were on the brink of eruption. I smell vengence and feel lots of hate emanating from that one. Just looking at it scares me to death. Oh wait, it did reek of death. It's living reminder of all the unpleasant people and events that made it up. It compels me to do things I'll regret. Please don't rupture, I'll send for tools for mitigation. Please wait.
The ruby red one: Its everything I wanted in my future and it sparkles like a real gem. It's alluring and asthetically pleasing. i was so hoping I could bring it out crystalised like swarovskis & it could be profitting if I could ever make crystals of my own. even this farfetched thinking seem possible looking at it. Yet, its there because somehow my present seems more than bleak. What cruel fate.
They weave and intertwine. it parallels my conflicting emotions. you are my comfort and at the same time my source of discomfort. This complexity is what propels the engines of my tear ducts. I weep at the impossibiltiy of us. I weep because of the people I care most about didn't care. Wallowing in self-pity is what I do best & too bad I can't grow up like that.
Let me regress to become 3 year old again. Let me reset my eyes so I have no red threads of anguish.
Let me rewind and repeat life again.
cold mornings
The morning can be cold but there are different kinds of cold. The physical cold and the psychological. I could wake up to you in the twelve degree morning yet experience this warm, fuzzy feeling envelope me with your arms wrapped around me. I do desire those mornings but I've got to get detached from them. The kind of cold mornings I should get used to are those that feel cold on the outside and on the inside, and even those that feels warm on the outside yet still cold in the inside. Those empty, hollow mornings I must get acquainted with, presto & quick.
Sometimes your unavailbility makes me despondent. Patience is not part of my virtue. Sometimes I can't wait to voice it out. Holding it in is now too much for me for I have too much to absorb. I crumble faster than a cookie can. I drown like a punctured float. Yet having you and not being able to have you puts me in a tough dilemma. I can't be angry with you, and even if I've got you, I rather freeze to death and let my heart shudder, than to ever burden you with my unhappiness. Neither way works.
so I should leave. Your happiness lies elsewhere. Not with me.
Sometimes your unavailbility makes me despondent. Patience is not part of my virtue. Sometimes I can't wait to voice it out. Holding it in is now too much for me for I have too much to absorb. I crumble faster than a cookie can. I drown like a punctured float. Yet having you and not being able to have you puts me in a tough dilemma. I can't be angry with you, and even if I've got you, I rather freeze to death and let my heart shudder, than to ever burden you with my unhappiness. Neither way works.
so I should leave. Your happiness lies elsewhere. Not with me.
Monday, May 13, 2013
love in excess
you're someone I wish I can turn to every single time, whether I'm happy or sad, whether you're the cause of it or not, you've become the first person I'll think of, every now and then. My emotions change faster than the absurdest weather and you've come to call me "difficult to handle". In times like this, I wonder if I could still go to you, snuggle into your arms and cry my lungs out. These are the times when I feel so orphaned in love and you are the only cure. But to say maintaining our relationship is "hard", I absolutely have no idea what to make out of it. Is this your way of telling me "I want to so make it work but I don't know how to" Or, is this your permanent excuse to not try at all so that you expect me to take it or leave it? Either way, it signifies your lack of effort & I'm not at all pleased.
you always say I've changed you, therefore I'm different from the others. In that I indeed feel special. Still, the fact that circumstances elevated my standing in your eyes will not mean anything without action. If you attribute everything to the fact that I am different and I've changed you, yet, when I really need your extra attention and concern, you can't even bother to try to express it when I needed it, what difference does it make between me & all the others out there? Its just all gonna be the same.
One word from you can make a difference to my world. That's the kind of impact you make. At the end of the day, I still wish you have the magnanimity to take me into your arms even if I irritated you a whole lot. that's exactly the thing I would do for you even if you agitated me. I still wish you would whisper sweet nothings into my ears and calm me down to say everything's gonna be okay between us. But you know we're so far apart so falling into each other's arms is so impossible, so at the very least, we can make it up for it in words.
I just can't believe it took you so long before I get to hear it. Then again, it's the effort that counts and if that's all I can get from you, I'll take it. It's not all that hard, & I just hope if there's ever a next time, I wouldn't have to wait so long for it, because when you're not my sanctuary, I feel like I'm in hell.
I could run out of patience, I could run out of love. I just don't want to run out of you for you mean everything to me. Don't say that I'm hard to handle, because you're just grouping me with all the others. If i'm really that special to you, maybe I'm worth more than your careless, lazy words.
Your effort to type that really long confession is really sweet & it reminds me of how long since I last heard these words from you. I really miss it. You havent' been this sweet in a while if you noticed. Of late, it's just so hard to get hold of you because you're busy with catching up with friends, with exams, with moving and out with friends. I miss you so much oppa. Every day and night, I missed you so much. I want to tell it to you almost every single minute but what a shame that your limited data usage forbids me to do so. These emotions are overflowing sometimes I think perhaps I said it too much, perhaps you got tired of it. If it ever did I'd not say it too often then.
Were it ever possible to make me feel less for you, I wish there was a way to do it, for I'm drowning in excess and you probably noticed none of it. This extravagance is uncalled for, I only wished it would be better appreciated than for it to go to waste.
you seem more distant than ever & I'm falling apart. I'm really falling apart.
you always say I've changed you, therefore I'm different from the others. In that I indeed feel special. Still, the fact that circumstances elevated my standing in your eyes will not mean anything without action. If you attribute everything to the fact that I am different and I've changed you, yet, when I really need your extra attention and concern, you can't even bother to try to express it when I needed it, what difference does it make between me & all the others out there? Its just all gonna be the same.
One word from you can make a difference to my world. That's the kind of impact you make. At the end of the day, I still wish you have the magnanimity to take me into your arms even if I irritated you a whole lot. that's exactly the thing I would do for you even if you agitated me. I still wish you would whisper sweet nothings into my ears and calm me down to say everything's gonna be okay between us. But you know we're so far apart so falling into each other's arms is so impossible, so at the very least, we can make it up for it in words.
I just can't believe it took you so long before I get to hear it. Then again, it's the effort that counts and if that's all I can get from you, I'll take it. It's not all that hard, & I just hope if there's ever a next time, I wouldn't have to wait so long for it, because when you're not my sanctuary, I feel like I'm in hell.
I could run out of patience, I could run out of love. I just don't want to run out of you for you mean everything to me. Don't say that I'm hard to handle, because you're just grouping me with all the others. If i'm really that special to you, maybe I'm worth more than your careless, lazy words.
Your effort to type that really long confession is really sweet & it reminds me of how long since I last heard these words from you. I really miss it. You havent' been this sweet in a while if you noticed. Of late, it's just so hard to get hold of you because you're busy with catching up with friends, with exams, with moving and out with friends. I miss you so much oppa. Every day and night, I missed you so much. I want to tell it to you almost every single minute but what a shame that your limited data usage forbids me to do so. These emotions are overflowing sometimes I think perhaps I said it too much, perhaps you got tired of it. If it ever did I'd not say it too often then.
Were it ever possible to make me feel less for you, I wish there was a way to do it, for I'm drowning in excess and you probably noticed none of it. This extravagance is uncalled for, I only wished it would be better appreciated than for it to go to waste.
you seem more distant than ever & I'm falling apart. I'm really falling apart.
Saturday, May 11, 2013
different degrees of hurt
Nothing can be permanent for everything is transient. The ring on the finger can be lost for many reasons, whether accidental or not, it just can never be retrieved. Sometimes things can be restored, they can be replicated; yet nothing is ever the same. Like bitemarks, every damage is distinctly stark, & while the damage is done the mark can fade, but the pain can remain.
Words, what's said and what's left unsaid, can hurt beyond limits of comprehension -- perhaps its karma due that I am bound to serve this life. Nonchalance affect more than any other along the gamut of concern. & its all the more embarrassing having to point out expectations, for everything vocalised and acted upon may lack twice in sincerity.
Everything then, has to be left as it is. Waiting for penance is the only hopeful way out. But if laboriousness of it all supersedes the want to please, then, what for do we try to sustain?
Like the dead fawn, abused & pitied over its miserable fate; & there's the scavengers taking advantage of death & chewing still at the almost empty carcasses, is hollowing & spiritually disturbing.
To what extent will you then cease to hurt & start to revert?
Words, what's said and what's left unsaid, can hurt beyond limits of comprehension -- perhaps its karma due that I am bound to serve this life. Nonchalance affect more than any other along the gamut of concern. & its all the more embarrassing having to point out expectations, for everything vocalised and acted upon may lack twice in sincerity.
Everything then, has to be left as it is. Waiting for penance is the only hopeful way out. But if laboriousness of it all supersedes the want to please, then, what for do we try to sustain?
Like the dead fawn, abused & pitied over its miserable fate; & there's the scavengers taking advantage of death & chewing still at the almost empty carcasses, is hollowing & spiritually disturbing.
To what extent will you then cease to hurt & start to revert?
Thursday, May 9, 2013
简单的幸福
就算你已经不在我的身边，但光想着你也很奇妙的，是一种独有的幸福。 你总是给我着多种的感动； 令人感到很奇妙， 很欣慰。
这些不是全部， 但是我现在所能想到的：
1. 吵架时， 你总是第一个道歉。 很有风度， 也让我享受了一些小公主的待遇。 很幸福。
2. 当我哭时， 你会变得有点慌， 有点不知所措，有点内疚。 突然什么也不重要了，只担心我的眼泪要怎么停止， 要怎么能再度让我笑。 赶紧给我纸巾， 擦那非常值得掉的眼泪， 以你最温柔的手把眼泪与所有的不快乐全部抹掉。 很幸福。
3. 很任性的， 也不管你想要吃什么， 只顾着想为你做份爱心餐。 不管有多难吃， 多么难咽， 多么的没水准， 你只会不停的加以称赞， 也不会流露任何委屈的表情。 只顾着我的感受， 不让我有丝毫的失望， 咽下了我所有的心意。 很幸福。
4. 我沉睡的时候， 虽然你会很想念我。 但你总会怕把我吵醒，尽管有再多的东西想与我分享， 但也忍住了，耐心的等着我，直到我睡醒后才再一个一个的告诉清醒的我。 你的周到让我万分感动。 很幸福。
5. 一起吃饭的时候， 似乎怕我会挨饿， 怕我不会自己吃， 你会不停的把食物好好的放在汤匙里， 在适当的时候， 往我的嘴巴里喂。 每口都是自造的蜜糖， 很甜蜜。 很幸福。
6. 看见我不开心时， 会问候， 会关心。 会用你那很温暖的拥抱将一切烦恼暂时抛开， 然后加一句 “船到桥头自然直, 别担心了”。 很安慰。 很幸福。
7. 担心着我们的未来时， 你总会说出你对我的承诺， 说给你一点时间， 到时候， 你会好好的， 向我爸爸提亲。 呵呵呵呵呵呵呵呵。 想到能嫁得出去， 尤其是你！ 很幸福。
8. 想到以后的孩子会以韩语叫我一声 “엄마!”。 很幸福。
9. 握着你的手， 似乎拥有你等于拥有了全世界。 很幸福。
10. 你是第一个让我把你的胳毛全拔掉的男人。 到现在我还在想， 你是不是太爱我了？还是被我迷惑的神魂颠倒？ 还是太疼我了， 拿我没办法？不管怎样， 我还是觉得很骄傲。 对不起啦， 很自私的把我的快乐建筑在你的痛苦之上。 但别忘了， 这就是有女朋友与没有女朋友的分别。 很幸福。
11. 当我自卑时， 想尽快把身上的肥肉全部去掉， 你总是安慰我说我并不胖， 还说我很苗条。 我有点自知自明啦， 但你的好意我感到十分感激。 你对我的评价是最重要的， 能听到你这句话， 我的自尊没那么落魄了。有了你的肯定， 很幸福。
12. 叫着我的绰号时，“돼지 고기”， 或 说我很丑时“못생겨서”， 很好笑，有趣， 也很亲密。 很幸福。
13. 跟我说话时， 我能感受到你对我的尊重，态度也会温柔些。很幸福。
14. 会问候我， 关心我是否吃饱了。 很细心， 很贴心。 很幸福。
15. 做功课时的那个认真， 似乎变成了另外个人， 一个能够让我终身依靠的男人。 很幸福。
16. 驾车时的那份帅气与信心， 完全偷了我的心。 很幸福。
17. 说爱我的那幅富有真诚的双眼， 说时很投入， 很认真， 让我听着时没有丝毫疑惑的余地。 很幸福。
18. 对你和我的家人与朋友的好， 很会做人， 很有礼貌， 很成熟。 很难得。 很幸福。
19. 比较喜欢汉堡包的韩国人， 讲英语像个老外的韩国人， 十分有趣， 每当想起或听见都将是我的笑点。 你是我一辈子很奇妙的乐趣， 光是这点会让我笑一千一百万次我也笑不厌。 有你在身边， 很幸福。
20. 你的微笑， 很灿烂， 很耀眼。 光是看着， 也会很幸福。
还有很多很多的话， 一时想说也说不完。 只知道能遇见你， 看着你， 听见你， 都是一种幸福。 爱， 爱死你了。
又想到了几个， let me add on to the list! (:
21. 会把我的床整理的很整齐， 看见了会巴不得想要扑上去睡。 想想以后回到家时， 看见扑好了的床， 会很开心， 很温馨。很幸福。
22.当我笨笨的在洗衣机前， 不知如何用洗衣粉和机器时， 你问我是什么洗衣粉， 就说“这个用两勺就够了” 好专业！ 有家庭主夫的潜质。很幸福。
23. 那天， 我想为你煮饭，你一直想要帮个忙。 开始很不信任你， 但是有感觉忙不过来， 就让你切葱了。 看着你那出神入化 的刀法真让我目瞪口呆！ 早知就让你把所有的葱都切了！ 瞬间觉得你在厨房非常有用处，想到以后可能不必做个那么辛苦的家庭主妇。 很幸福。
24. 不管何时， 你都一直会怕我太辛苦， 总是想办法从我身上7减轻一点负担与压力。 功课繁忙时会带我去看电影松懈一下。煮饭时会帮我准备材料。 吃饭后会把所有的碗给洗了， 叫我去享受轻松一下。 你会把我包包里的东西收拾好， 怕我找不到东西。 让我的生活中少了些负担。 很可靠。 很幸福。
25. 那天煮饭时， 提议了个切蒜头比赛， 看谁能切的比较快。 我耍赖了， 我有压蒜器。 你在那儿很认真地投入的切， 我把蒜头皮削掉后， 放进压蒜器， 3秒就搞好了，假装在努力的切大蒜， 然后说“我切好了！” 你笑着说， “怎么那么快呀？” 也夸我说我很能干。 可是后来， 我发现你早已经知道我耍赖了， 只是想让我高兴所以没揭穿我。 唉！给你发现了， 但还是很高兴， 因为你以我为中心， 就算自己吃亏了也无所谓。很幸福。
跟你在一起， 一想起你， 会不禁的发自内心的笑。 很幸福。
这些不是全部， 但是我现在所能想到的：
1. 吵架时， 你总是第一个道歉。 很有风度， 也让我享受了一些小公主的待遇。 很幸福。
2. 当我哭时， 你会变得有点慌， 有点不知所措，有点内疚。 突然什么也不重要了，只担心我的眼泪要怎么停止， 要怎么能再度让我笑。 赶紧给我纸巾， 擦那非常值得掉的眼泪， 以你最温柔的手把眼泪与所有的不快乐全部抹掉。 很幸福。
3. 很任性的， 也不管你想要吃什么， 只顾着想为你做份爱心餐。 不管有多难吃， 多么难咽， 多么的没水准， 你只会不停的加以称赞， 也不会流露任何委屈的表情。 只顾着我的感受， 不让我有丝毫的失望， 咽下了我所有的心意。 很幸福。
4. 我沉睡的时候， 虽然你会很想念我。 但你总会怕把我吵醒，尽管有再多的东西想与我分享， 但也忍住了，耐心的等着我，直到我睡醒后才再一个一个的告诉清醒的我。 你的周到让我万分感动。 很幸福。
5. 一起吃饭的时候， 似乎怕我会挨饿， 怕我不会自己吃， 你会不停的把食物好好的放在汤匙里， 在适当的时候， 往我的嘴巴里喂。 每口都是自造的蜜糖， 很甜蜜。 很幸福。
6. 看见我不开心时， 会问候， 会关心。 会用你那很温暖的拥抱将一切烦恼暂时抛开， 然后加一句 “船到桥头自然直, 别担心了”。 很安慰。 很幸福。
7. 担心着我们的未来时， 你总会说出你对我的承诺， 说给你一点时间， 到时候， 你会好好的， 向我爸爸提亲。 呵呵呵呵呵呵呵呵。 想到能嫁得出去， 尤其是你！ 很幸福。
8. 想到以后的孩子会以韩语叫我一声 “엄마!”。 很幸福。
9. 握着你的手， 似乎拥有你等于拥有了全世界。 很幸福。
10. 你是第一个让我把你的胳毛全拔掉的男人。 到现在我还在想， 你是不是太爱我了？还是被我迷惑的神魂颠倒？ 还是太疼我了， 拿我没办法？不管怎样， 我还是觉得很骄傲。 对不起啦， 很自私的把我的快乐建筑在你的痛苦之上。 但别忘了， 这就是有女朋友与没有女朋友的分别。 很幸福。
11. 当我自卑时， 想尽快把身上的肥肉全部去掉， 你总是安慰我说我并不胖， 还说我很苗条。 我有点自知自明啦， 但你的好意我感到十分感激。 你对我的评价是最重要的， 能听到你这句话， 我的自尊没那么落魄了。有了你的肯定， 很幸福。
12. 叫着我的绰号时，“돼지 고기”， 或 说我很丑时“못생겨서”， 很好笑，有趣， 也很亲密。 很幸福。
13. 跟我说话时， 我能感受到你对我的尊重，态度也会温柔些。很幸福。
14. 会问候我， 关心我是否吃饱了。 很细心， 很贴心。 很幸福。
15. 做功课时的那个认真， 似乎变成了另外个人， 一个能够让我终身依靠的男人。 很幸福。
16. 驾车时的那份帅气与信心， 完全偷了我的心。 很幸福。
17. 说爱我的那幅富有真诚的双眼， 说时很投入， 很认真， 让我听着时没有丝毫疑惑的余地。 很幸福。
18. 对你和我的家人与朋友的好， 很会做人， 很有礼貌， 很成熟。 很难得。 很幸福。
19. 比较喜欢汉堡包的韩国人， 讲英语像个老外的韩国人， 十分有趣， 每当想起或听见都将是我的笑点。 你是我一辈子很奇妙的乐趣， 光是这点会让我笑一千一百万次我也笑不厌。 有你在身边， 很幸福。
20. 你的微笑， 很灿烂， 很耀眼。 光是看着， 也会很幸福。
还有很多很多的话， 一时想说也说不完。 只知道能遇见你， 看着你， 听见你， 都是一种幸福。 爱， 爱死你了。
又想到了几个， let me add on to the list! (:
21. 会把我的床整理的很整齐， 看见了会巴不得想要扑上去睡。 想想以后回到家时， 看见扑好了的床， 会很开心， 很温馨。很幸福。
22.当我笨笨的在洗衣机前， 不知如何用洗衣粉和机器时， 你问我是什么洗衣粉， 就说“这个用两勺就够了” 好专业！ 有家庭主夫的潜质。很幸福。
23. 那天， 我想为你煮饭，你一直想要帮个忙。 开始很不信任你， 但是有感觉忙不过来， 就让你切葱了。 看着你那出神入化 的刀法真让我目瞪口呆！ 早知就让你把所有的葱都切了！ 瞬间觉得你在厨房非常有用处，想到以后可能不必做个那么辛苦的家庭主妇。 很幸福。
24. 不管何时， 你都一直会怕我太辛苦， 总是想办法从我身上7减轻一点负担与压力。 功课繁忙时会带我去看电影松懈一下。煮饭时会帮我准备材料。 吃饭后会把所有的碗给洗了， 叫我去享受轻松一下。 你会把我包包里的东西收拾好， 怕我找不到东西。 让我的生活中少了些负担。 很可靠。 很幸福。
25. 那天煮饭时， 提议了个切蒜头比赛， 看谁能切的比较快。 我耍赖了， 我有压蒜器。 你在那儿很认真地投入的切， 我把蒜头皮削掉后， 放进压蒜器， 3秒就搞好了，假装在努力的切大蒜， 然后说“我切好了！” 你笑着说， “怎么那么快呀？” 也夸我说我很能干。 可是后来， 我发现你早已经知道我耍赖了， 只是想让我高兴所以没揭穿我。 唉！给你发现了， 但还是很高兴， 因为你以我为中心， 就算自己吃亏了也无所谓。很幸福。
跟你在一起， 一想起你， 会不禁的发自内心的笑。 很幸福。
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
鬼迷心窍
在这深深的夜晚， 对着书本看，听着电脑播放的韩剧； 不知不觉， 脑海里浮现出想念你的念头。 金泰， 你今天过得不怎么样吧？ 你的命是那么的坎坷， 那么的孤独。 失去的爱让你的心那么的寒，每当看见你， 虽然脸总是带着那么真诚， 灿烂的笑容。 但不知为何，在微笑的背后， 似乎是在掩饰着心里的空虚。 就因为如此， 我总是想把那被挖空的洞， 以我的爱与呵护， 把它填满。 让你知道， 失去所有并不是世界末日， 因为你还有我； 假如你能知道我对你的爱有多深厚， 你会是这世界上最富有的男人。（：
你说你比较喜欢吃苦的巧克力， 越苦越好， 因为极限的苦味能让你发觉其实与现实生活比起来， 还有更加苦的滋味， 你也会因而感到安慰一些。 你这不合逻辑的思维有些莫名其妙， 但也不是个不合理想法。 你这奇怪的自我疗法如果能让你好过一些，也倒不如不是办法， 但看着你那么的独立， 那么的试着坚强， 我的心不禁的为你流眼泪。
我们的相遇似乎是上天的安排， 让我遇见现在还很可怜的你， 让我来照顾你， 爱护你。 奇妙的是， 知道你的处境并没有将我吓跑。 了解你的情况只让我更加要陪在你的身边，度过这些折腾的波折。并且， 你的存在让我在度感受到真正爱着一个人的感觉， 恢复了那沉睡多年， 寒冷的心； 再次为个重要的人而复活，再次能感受到它 “扑通，扑通” 的跳 - 那奇妙，爱人的感觉是绝无仅有的享受！
谢谢你塌进了我的世界。 谢谢你让我死去的心复活。 谢谢你每次对我的温柔， 疼爱， 细心， 温暖 和种种种种的好。 金泰， 你是上天赐给我的礼物， 请别忘了你的重要。 别人对你的无视并不重要， 最重要的是能认清自己的价值， 别把自己的贵重放在他人的镜子里。 就算你非得那么做， 倒不如把你自己放在我的镜子里吧， 因为我看见的你， 永远是那么的值得重视， 让人骄傲， 有责任感， 对他人会尊重合你全部的好， 都会一一的反映在我的眼前。
可能是鬼迷心窍了， 可能是爱得太深了。 但都无所谓， 因为， 这就是爱。
你说你比较喜欢吃苦的巧克力， 越苦越好， 因为极限的苦味能让你发觉其实与现实生活比起来， 还有更加苦的滋味， 你也会因而感到安慰一些。 你这不合逻辑的思维有些莫名其妙， 但也不是个不合理想法。 你这奇怪的自我疗法如果能让你好过一些，也倒不如不是办法， 但看着你那么的独立， 那么的试着坚强， 我的心不禁的为你流眼泪。
我们的相遇似乎是上天的安排， 让我遇见现在还很可怜的你， 让我来照顾你， 爱护你。 奇妙的是， 知道你的处境并没有将我吓跑。 了解你的情况只让我更加要陪在你的身边，度过这些折腾的波折。并且， 你的存在让我在度感受到真正爱着一个人的感觉， 恢复了那沉睡多年， 寒冷的心； 再次为个重要的人而复活，再次能感受到它 “扑通，扑通” 的跳 - 那奇妙，爱人的感觉是绝无仅有的享受！
谢谢你塌进了我的世界。 谢谢你让我死去的心复活。 谢谢你每次对我的温柔， 疼爱， 细心， 温暖 和种种种种的好。 金泰， 你是上天赐给我的礼物， 请别忘了你的重要。 别人对你的无视并不重要， 最重要的是能认清自己的价值， 别把自己的贵重放在他人的镜子里。 就算你非得那么做， 倒不如把你自己放在我的镜子里吧， 因为我看见的你， 永远是那么的值得重视， 让人骄傲， 有责任感， 对他人会尊重合你全部的好， 都会一一的反映在我的眼前。
可能是鬼迷心窍了， 可能是爱得太深了。 但都无所谓， 因为， 这就是爱。
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)