surprise visit

I never thought u'd spring a surprise on me like that. I appreciate it but I'm sorry I couldnt bring myself to say another "bye" to you again. So I don't know what to say.

My appetite has been ferocious. I'm continuously eating but the guilt still comes about. I'm getting fat again and it's not a good sign. I need to get below 50 because my collar bones are so pretty. My shoulder blades are so pointy I look awesome at all angles. I can sweep people off my feet and offer the 'helping hand' and drop them winks and make heads turn. I'm keeping myself up on the market, but I'm not up for grabs just yet.

The half a packet of big nachos late at night with salsa dips isn't helping.

I got a voucher from my telco to change phones. I might get the iphone5S just tomorrow with dad since his is up too. Dad is very updated.

i will be going to dad's place to study for the night. Who could be a better companion than a loving father who peels apples and pops longan and lychee fruits while I do my readings? I can feel love again and familial love is the most penetrative kind. it saves my heart from further incisions and blocks external harm.

Tomorrow is studying time with friends again. I need to be extra productive this semester. 5 papers is no joke and I have to make good of it. God, please stay with me.

I've been backing up my phone just in case i get a new phone. I hope my messages and photos still would sync back into the new one. I saw photos of our Phuket trip and now I think back it was pretty awesome. My favourite part of it all was still waking up to see you're beside me. That feeling is the best on earth and too bad I don't get to enjoy this view anymore.I still remember how just walking along the villa and having breakfast and seeing you day and night alone can just be so enjoyable. I swear I was the happiest girl on earth.

It's okay. Life still has to move on.

I looked through our past whatsapp chats, when we were still so fresh and in love. I asked you if you ever tried removing me out of your brain, This is what you replied "Edward Kim: No i never tried to do that, but i just knew i can not be separated from you anymore 3/11/13, 1:16:04 PM: Edward Kim: I belong to you"

You said it yourself, you belong to me. So why did you choose to leave? Things like this make me lose faith in love. True love doesn't exist.