hunger strike may make a good career

It's all a joke from here.

My refusal to eat first stemmed from the loss of appetite. Eventually I just got used to not eating. I only eat for survival and I only drink to clear my stomach of accumulated hydrochloric acid which burns the stomach lining (see, I've been attentive in biology lessons). I don't see what's the big deal in not eating but it's potentially profitable. I understand how everybody is worried. But ever since my last blackout I've learned to deal with it. I make sure I take in enough glucose to regulate my low blood sugar.

But I think everyone's feeling awesomely wealthy everyday. I get multiple offers for lunch and dinner, its as if... if I take their food they'll strike lottery, or if I eat, someone wins a bet. One was because I lent a book and I get a treat in return. Kindness begets kindness. Maybe some I'm winning it from sympathy. But regardless, I appreciate everyone's thoughts. I'm really grateful.

Still, please don't advice me against my anorexia. I'm happy with my slimmer figure and it makes me feel better. it's about the only good thing I'm taking away from all the bad things that happened. I'm alive and kicking & I don't regard this as self abuse. This is merely a bad habit cultivated but I'll change when I reach my ideal. perhaps 7 kg more sounds reasonable. I'm glad I'm getting there somehow.

I thought about that night I failed to blow dry for you. It's okay. Just imagine, close your eyes and imagine me doing it right after your shower. It'll feel as good. (:  *hair dryer sound, blow blow blow* Your hair is now soft and dry! YAY.

I love your hair. I love brushing through it. I love taking care of you. I love to know that you used to like it too.