I've received strategies of all sorts but I decided to be true to my feelings. There's no right or wrong thoughts to be expressed, but it is only wrong when even I lie to myself about how I feel.
I've talked to friends and sought their advice on how to get through this tough period. They all shared that they took 2 to 3 months to get out of the love wreck. When I first heard it I told them sobbing "How? What do I do? It's only my 3rd day". I told them I don't have 2 - 3 months to spare for a heart break. Studies were forever my priority, i couldn't let my hard earned grades go down the drain because of a momentary anguish.
This is a transitory period and I expect a lot of uncertainties. But I've decided to face life with an unfaltering positivity and embrace life as it is. Homework wise I've done well amidst the heart break. I'm distracted every now and then but I have no choice but to pick myself up time and again. I have no time to waste. I have to go strong and stronger to fight the merciless time which passes too fast and robs me of another one or two days whenever I fail to be watchful. I have to be on my guard on all times and make full use of time. Work wise, I'm appreciate the opportunities given to me. I am trusted with a lot of responsibilities and I receive each and every one of them with humility, because I still have lots of things to learn given my rather raw experience at a leadership position. I'm entrusted with the responsibility of handling a team of 13 and people have high expectations of me. Today my boss involved me in an important decision making process, I
have constructive suggestions and I've proved myself worthy. So yay.
another point scored. I couldn't be happier that all of the depressing events that recently happened are slowly turning out better.
Today dad gave me a big hug and gave me an apple for lunch (:
Amidst the weight loss, its not totally a bad thing. I have lots of weight to lose. But the recent compliments that I look better are encouraging. I've gone below 50 now but when I sit down my tummy is still there, though it just became smaller. I guess it's better to enter a healthier weight range and that's how I see it. Doctors say the love handles/tummies at the waist are just a signal of poor health. (: I guess I'm just healthier now.
After being able to place my negativities aside, my
previously clouded judgements could finally see the silver lining. Not
all is lost, and I started to see what's there to gain out of this. I
embraced the opportunity for change and learned to accept. Not that it
was easy but I gained the skills of compartmentalising my feelings into
the good and the bad. While I revel in the good, I was finally able to
talk about my feelings and confront them without having to cry. I shared
with people and the comical ones tried to lift my spirits by making me laugh. For
the first time in the past few days I was able to laugh out so heartily,
and people say 'laughter is the best medicine', it indeed is. Through
this heartbreak stronger relationships were forged. The ones who really
bothered, at the end of the day, some of my tears were for you. I'm
sorry for now I could only repay with my teary appreciation but you know
I'd do the same for you.
And for the bad, I've placed
it aside for it is but a venomous bane. But perhaps in time to come these
kept feelings would unfold like a pandora's box. I don't know what it
would evolve into but I hope it'll blossom like the vibrantly coloured
spring flowers that only reek of a fresh new life. As for us,
expectations only brings disappointment so I guess I'll leave it to fate
to decide what's best for our future.
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