a friend helped me fix my laptop this morning. I'm glad the fever subsided too, though the throbbing headache still remained. Everything managed to work out fine, I can't be any happier. For all the good things that took a bad turn, and for all the bad things which resolved themselves eventually, I'm not glad to have to live the roller coaster life, yet I'm super grateful for those people who turned up to help unconditionally, to pick me up from the doctor in the middle of the night, for taking care of me, accompanying me to the parks for a relaxing walk after a most tiring day relentlessly hitting the books.
Given the state of my heart now, I'm almost incapable to do anything alone. But today I will learn to get used to it. its the most stifling feeling on earth, to want to express unquantifiable amounts of emotion yet, there's no one at the receiving end.
Time is crucial for the next few days. 3 papers this week is going to strip me down to the core. I'm afraid to face this alone, yet I must. For the future.
I realised smiling can keep my spirits up. So i'll smile until my jaws hurt and until my muscles ache. I'll think of the happier times & forget about all the unpleasant memories. At least, whatever I get in the end, I get the only best bits of our life.
ashika have been too sweet. She wrote a post for me, encouraging the perspective I should take of us. Her words are empowering, and so strong, I'd be sorry not to take her advice. Even the title, insinuates so many things.
http://ashikawong.wordpress.com/2013/11/10/i-love-you-isnt-that-enough/
The best kind of literature is to speak minimally yet implying a great deal. That's why, I thought, "I love you" is the best expression in the entire realm of this world. 3 words, 8 letters that has an uncountable depth, unfathomable consequences and is often accompanied by a slew of irrational actions and reactions.
& I still love you.
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