You just reminded me how we've spent our time three consecutive days together. It struck me like an epiphany, or like some kind of unexpected enlightenment, that, that was how my last three days was spent. It was more than enjoyable I didn't even realise how fast time passed.
Yeah, now I remember. On the 21st, it was a mini Korean lesson at night & I cooked you this disappointing scrambled eggs which you claimed microwave does it better. Oh well, it's okay. I'm not going to be jealous of a microwave. I knew you didn't expect Michelin standard breakfasts & I was relieved. My food was sprinkled with a generous portion of my heart though. I hope you tasted it sweet & savoured every single molecule of it all. (: I knew you did. & I'm thankful that despite it not being perfect, you still devoured my lousy cooking with nothing condescending but instead, with full of praises.
Thank you. I appreciated your charity & graciousness in accepting my flaws. (:
& there's day 2. I was clad in my cute little pants which Jordan labelled it "pyjamas". I'm glad you came over with us for drinks. You have no idea how much it meant to me. Your anxiety and concern for me makes my heart flutter. Then there was this breakfast at the most beautiful place with the most amazing person ever. I love how you embrace me into your arms whenever I come to you. I always feel welcomed. So we sat in front of this mini hills looking like teletubby land, with buggy cars driving all over the place, tropical, palm and grand trees surrounding us as if we're characters in Alice in Wonderland - except for the absence of small poker-card people; basking in the warmth of the sunlight while in the shade of our love; you never forgetting to hold my hands even while you smoke and drink your coffee. Then we went back into the shade for breakfast. I'm sorry I'm fussy about food. I cannot take hot drinks in the morning, I cannot take coffee especially. Neither can I do orange juice. Ham is the worst food on earth. But I love how we complement each other. I could eat your share of baked beans while you take the coffee and juice and ham. how apt. we're like the perfect puzzle piece in the simplest manner. I love how you feed me congee in the most considerate way.
I felt like the most fortunate girl on earth. I couldn't stop smiling.
& there's day 3. It was spontaneously planned yet I'm glad you turned up anyway. It was a pretty bad day for us both & I thoroughly apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable. I'm sorry if I hurt you. But it was as bad for me when you curtly said that you were going to put up this line of defence against me. My world crumbled. I was so lost I didn't know what to do. It pains me to see you worrying over something that is non-existent. But I understand your feelings for me. I totally understand where you are coming from but somehow I wished you knew me better, that my family is the most important part of my life & you would become one too. Therefore, having to delete these memories of my birthday & my family just because of an insignificant person who no longer has a foothold in my life, killed me. All of a sudden, I felt as if I never had a 21st, 22nd and 23rd year of my life, whatever I did hollowed me out completely. But now that it's all gone now, I only hope you'll fill that cavity in my heart with whatever you can give to make me feel alive again.
I never would blame you. I never will. I just did what I had to do, because I believe in a future with you. But I hope you understood that as it was difficult for you, it was the same for me. I would stop convincing you why I didn't think the pasts matter, or why I will never mind your pasts. I want to remove every single prick in your heart so you'll have the capacity for me. I hope you do now.
So I got you the best congee on earth, coffee & "orange juice". I hope you liked it. I remembered your favourite combination. But okay, next time i'll remember the pulpy ones. & I'd stop experimenting with your taste buds with applenorange juice. (I still can't believe you thought it was mango/durian juice HAHA) But honey, it's better this way, it cannot be any way fresher. But oh well, I'll spoil you with your preferences. I'll also remember your streaky bacon instead of the healthier back bacon next time you ever trust me to make you scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast again. (: I love how you entertain me with your funny acnecdotes like how you talk to customers at the restaurant. & I love how guillible you are when I tried to tease you that I'm colour blind and almost every other time when I got the chance. Maybe when you met me, you would stop believing in numbers and believe that Karma does exist too. HAHA. Maybe you shouldn't tease Nickie too much unless you enjoy me like this. (:
My morning was too fun. I couldn't stop thinking about it.
The more we spend time together, the more attached I become to you. I have no idea since when you took this one-way ticket into my heart, I'm a little bitter right now that you didn't even ask for my permission before you did that. But please, my heart isn't an airport, isn't a parking lot, & neither is it a pier. Don't park & leave. Please stay.
Please stay.
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