bonkers on homework.

Some part of me really wished UniSIM is exam-based instead of having to do their homework. then again, if it were, i may not be able to do so well given that homework can really help me up my grades by so much!

But the constant torture every other week about trying to do your best to perform & hope it's gonna be the essay of the century is driving me crazy. I cannot settle for substandard work. I really cannot. Call it my stupid habit or whatever you want, I really cannot stop my inclination towards making everything perfect.

I wish things can be made simpler. but too bad for me there's such a thing called "first class honours" & I want it.

though i may or may not pursue my honours, i may just stop at a bachelor, being in UniSIM & getting average grades doesn't speak much of my potential. If i'm already not in a top-notch school, i jolly well prove to the world that i'm more than what i seem to be.

& we're talking about literature here. that's the challenge. People read books. I study books. Everyday i'm honing my analytical skills, but it doesn't seem to bring me anywhere. I become too analytical, i analyse everything.

& trust me. That's not healthy at all. I can rebuke almost anybody & point out their fallacies & turn their own words against anyone if they're just not being careful. but what's the point of all of these? NOTHING. It just goes to show how bored i am.

Yes. I'm freaking bored.

So all i have to do right now is to apply for a teaching position right after i come back from US. Oh boy, i need a life.

meanwhile, i'm still struggling on my essay. Not that i dont have anything to write on, but i have trouble focusing. My parents should test me for ADHD. i may be suffering from an attention disorder.

i'm super pathetic to be suffering from inferiority complex & from a 100 word essay. It should be easy. It must be!

FOCUS CHERRYDATE. FOCUS IS KEY. i can feel the stress building up. It's the time of the year when exams are approaching. Get used to my grumbles. It'd be more frequent from now.