Without anchor

Without the presence of you in my heart, I'm a floating soul without anchor. It doesn't keep me grounded. Basically it just means I feel insecure. Try living without love for a day. I'm sure you know how it feels before. The abandonment. The misery of knowing no one would be there for you, even if it's just to have someone witness your achievements... Life would be so much better.

The other day you told me "Peiru I feel tired". I thought you just wanted to sleep. But you explained you were referring to life in general. My heart crumbled, along with you. I know you're tired of life. So if you're already accustomed to the life now, if I add burden to you, I will leave. I don't want to pile another problem on top of another problem of yours. I just hope you'll be able to see around things. That I'm not your burden. I can breathe a new life into you.

When you feel lonely, I'm sorry I'm not always with you. But just imagine, just think about how I would hold your hand until you get old.. Until we get old. I hope this image can get you through the toughest times in your life. Now that I can't have you, I just want you to remember, no matter how hard life is to you, you once had me to love you like that.

Everyday I wake up I get a little bit more used to the idea without you. It's funny how In the past I always dream about our future, our beautiful future, but they're ironically, gonna stay as dreams. I think I'm psychic. All those nightmares I had about us. Maybe it was propheting this breakup. It was warning me about it.

But everyday I still wake up in shock. I wake up at 6am, 7 am, having sleep only 4 hours a day. Only to come to the rude awakening that you'll never come back to me.

Leave. Leave happier and be free. I'll watch over you.

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