Down

I'm happy you're doing well alone. Even without me. I'm sorry if I misunderstood. Maybe you needed care, maybe you needed love. I always gave all I have to you. But over at my end, I feel empty. I'm emptied out.

I don't feel loved.

Last night I went to dad. I told him I'm suffering. He told me there's nothing he can do. I told you I'm suffering. I asked you to bring me away. You said "what to do Peiru".

I know you prefer people who are resilient, and strong minded. I'm sorry. I tried to be optimistic about this but I really tried but I can't. But I'm not sorry I'm not as strong as you think I am. I'm human too. I have emotions. I'm entitled to cry sometimes. I'm entitled to demand for emotional support. I don't want it. But now I really need it. Is it really difficult to show more concern. Is there really no time you can spare? At times like this, when I'm so desperate for some concern, is your exams really still priority? Do I not deserve your equal attention?

I told you how I felt. Maybe if you bothered reading what I actually told you you'll know how I feel, if you bothered to. Because now my heart is breaking. When the world is against me, just as when my world is crumbling, you're not here for me. & while I'm sick & emotionally defeated, I still had to fight for attention among your drunkardness, exams, racecar, movies & dates. While you have 200% of me, it's sad to feel I still mean only 1/10 of your life, to you.

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