if only we could turn back time, we would have been good.

I would pick up your language faster, so that you would always know what I mean. I think language kept us apart, things that I didn't mean became something else to you. things that you reply didnt mean anything to me. But only if we were more tolerant for each other, if only we never allow anything come between us.

we would have been good.

I could not help it but tell you what I never wanted from you. I just wanted you to treat me like I was the only thing that mattered in your world. As days went past, the possibility of us being together forever just became more and more impossible, and you weren't ready to promise. My insecurity just rocketed, and you did nothing but see me slip away from you.

I don't feel grounded.

Today I stood up from my seat and wanted to get out of the MRT, I walked to the door but my legs gave way. All of a sudden I couldnt walk and I suffered a minor sprain. I felt so embarrassed in front of so many people. The first thing that came to my mind was, "If only you were here to pick me up". But you weren't around. I had to miss my stop and limp out of the next station. No one was around to help me.

If only you were here.

The weather these days were pretty cold. Cold showers blanketed the whole island. Air conditioners blew icy cold air. I donned my cardigan, a shawl over my shoulders, and folded another shawl over my thighs and even then, I shivered in cold. I drank hot soup and scalding hot tea. It made no difference. Then I recalled how you kept my temperature up, how you took it all hugging me in your embrace. Then I realised,

I need your warmth.

You told me you fell ill. I know its winter there and my heart just broke. How I wish I could be there to take good care of you, to keep you warm. tuck you in bed after taking sick people porridge and cuddle you to sleep.

If only I was there with you.

 I know how hard exams can be, and the TV shows I gave you were too big a distraction. Perhaps for a limited time exams stress and the seductive quality of entertainment shows are too much for you to handle. I know you didn't mean to do badly and I wished I was there with you.

If only I could keep you grounded.

You were the best. You speak to me in the gentlest voice. When you whisper to me I feel so loved. It's like I was the only one who could hear you. You hold my hand as if you wouldnt let go, and I wished you literally never did let go. I would rope our hands together if you let me. I enjoyed my time with you. But time was never enough for us. Time was never enough for us.

We would have been so so good.