Sense of loss

It's another paper down. & I brought my loved scarf into the exam hall. I realized I lost it after, yet I didn't feel anything much.

I can only attribute it to a number of reasons, let's consider the following:

1. I have no attachment to material things.
-if this is the case, I must be a really desirable woman.

2. I'm used to losing things of some value to me, I don't know what to feel anymore

3. It's just a scarf.
-to be fair, it's not.

4. I've lost something more important in life, this is relatively insignificant.

But at this juncture, my feelings are numbed. I'm combating a lot of things.

I'm affected by something though. It's suffocating to not be able to voice it here. It's disappointing and discouraging. 我的心声是为你而写的, 你也许最近很忙，但我以为你还会在你最忙碌的行程里掏出一点心思来聆听，但你连这一点心意也没有. 我们的相隔只能让我们不断的猜测。不，只有我一个在不断的猜测，因为我似乎关心多一些。但这也许有一个危害很大的效果，那就是万一猜错了，必定会留下连续不断的误会，再加上你的沉默，这爱情将会失败的很彻底。我为我们无法建造的未来而哭泣，就算要责备，也不知到底是谁对谁错。咳！你不再读，我还应该坚持吗? 盲盲地坚持，有结果吗？我很矛盾，我猜不透你的想法, 这感觉让我感到十分困扰. 那极度的纳闷，该如何化解，我要怎么做才能让你回来？以这份真挚的爱来爱你， 爱你， 难道不够吗？

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone