too stressful

When I chose this module, i didn't expect it to be difficult. I checked the past year papers, and I checked that there's a textbook given, I thought, it shouldn't be that hard. Little did I know that I was in for serious trouble...

This stupid module is about writing researching methods. I don't even have exposure in doing research at all, and the topic is too broad. Neither did our lecturer help to narrow the topics down. I did tons of research in the area, but they all seem too dispersed in the area of research. There was no centralised support, no educational resources given, and to be fair, I started a little late. But no matter how I read, there was no way I could have come up with something satisfactory. I'm a little strict with myself. So I decided to give up this module. It's too ridiculous to continue with it, there's no way I could have scored an A. & I don't participate in battles I have zero confidence in. Sigh.

I wished I could show you how undefined the question is. What irritates me most is not about how difficult about the subject, but how bad the question was being asked. If the question was bad, teachers can't expect students to craft good answers because the root of the problem can't even be defined. It's alright. I should just take another paper. I should be better off with it.

It just made my day very bad. But I'm lucky I still have you. I love how you don't protest, and just support my decisions. I know very well what I'm doing. I calculated my moves and I always know what I'm in for. I just have to slog a little more for the next half of the year, but meanwhile, I'm pretty good to go for this semester. My warped OCD inclination for achieving above average grades really always get to me, but I will definitely graduate by the end of this year.

I can't wait to go to you. Let's see how far life brings me thereafter. Just be patient, we will get there.