Every morning I wake up a little heartbroken if I don't see your messages. Then I must console myself that you're trying to be considerate to me. I know you are afraid you'll wake me up. But I rather be woken up by a little text than to suffer the mini heartbreak.
Because if I don't see it, I can't get back to sleep.
What is in the past cannot be retrieved. As much as I want to return to our previous state, somewhat things have changed. It feels a little different. Our honeymoon period just didn't last. But I'll just take whatever is on the table. I just need your love to survive.
I'm glad you had fun today my boy. I'm glad you have friends surrounding you and making you happy. Even if it's the boring church, boxing matches and the yummy Korean barbecue, I'm glad your life is maxed out to your fullest. But when you told me you haven't had much meat since the day I'm gone, I'm heartbroken again. I wish I was there to make you eat better. I will make it up to you when you are here.
I've been sleeping the entire day & I wish I took sleeping pills to knock myself out. Periodically whenever I wake up, I feel an excruciating pain in my womb, as if there's a baby tearing me to pieces inside. It's so painful I wanna scream and shout my lungs out. But there's no one. I'm a big girl now, yet I still want to have someone who would just be there & tell me everything's gonna be fine. I can't wait for that day to come. Ideally you can come here and make all the money in the world, plus we don't have to pay rent because once my brother moves out, we have a permanent room. Then we save up and retire in New Zealand. Otherwise, I can always just move to you, and I'll see what I can do there. I can live anywhere. But I cannot live without you.
I'm missing you like crazy again. Please hold my hand and hug me to sleep. Because the tears won't stop flowing and I know you're all that I need.
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