plagued

today we experienced a myriad of feelings, and the gamut of emotions stretched from intense yearning, to an agonizing argument over the same old matter that plagued us.

I'm not going to take this negatively. Every relationship's got their own problems, I don't see how it'll stand in our way. If we get past this, we can only get stronger. But if we habour ill feelings every time we have a dispute, we can only weaken our love for each other. That's definitely not our goal. That's definitely not what we want.

I was wrong. I thought I could manage my emotions well. Today, I just fell short of my expectations. I guess absence really makes the heart grow fonder. It gets more and more difficult as the day goes by. I thought it would be easier but I was wrong. You are so lovable I just couldn't help it but to give all of my heart out to you. I want to be there for you, whether you're happy or sad. I just have to be with you.

Though the skype sessions weren't exactly perfect, with the frequent breaks in between, I still feel grateful enough that we can still communicate this way. I want to touch your face even though its virtual, but I still put my fingers onto the screen and imagine myself stroking your lovely cheeks. If it's the best we can have for now, i'd still take it, it's definitely better than nothing. But unfortunately it does nothing to ease my perpetual yearning for you to be by my side.

I miss those hugs and hand holding & 뽀뽀. I miss having someone to share my chocolate with. I dont want to end my night coughing the whole time because I had to finish one whole chocolate bar on my own. I want to lend my thighs to this cute boy who enjoys resting on them & talking about everything under the sun like there's no tomorrow. I want to wake up to this face I never will get tired of. I want to feed him this breakfast I cook & knowing that he will still finish it no matter how bad it is & still tells me "its the best breakfast" he ever had & even thank me for it. I would still cook for this boy, even if he stays on the couch looking at his favourite car racing shows/websites while I slog away in the kitchen so that he doesnt get hungry & his hands wouldnt shake from hunger. Even if I had to lose a finger from all the chopping on the chopping board it'll still be worth it just to fish that compliment that he was always so generous to give.

I would do anything, just to win a smile from you. Because that smile is so dazzling & mesmerizing, it reminds me each time of the reason why I fell in love with you. I myself don't exactly know what it was, but so far, I've figured out that as long as you are happy, I can be happy too.

I took a few pictures of you off skype. They're all smiley & plain adorable. I can never get tired of it. I don't see how I can. & I prefer you when you let you hair down, undone, so you'll look boyish & it takes 10 years off your age. How cute. I'm giggling to myself already. HAHAHA.

For now, I've done what you asked. Despite everything that we've been through today, I still want to say this to you.

I'm so glad I met you.