epic failure

I'm a classic example of an epic failure. Once again, I've enslaved myself to my weakness - avoidance. I have fears I cannot overcome, and having no confidence in my exams is one thing I cannot face. I am very well aware of how irresponsible it is of me to run away. This penchance for eluding reality grips really violently at my conscience. Trust me, it does. the kind of guilt I experience is horrifying. Not only it haunts, but it also strips me of all dignity, replaces it with extreme inferiority, and pushes me to face each and every one I have failed again. I look down in shame. I berate myself for every single faulted decision I've made to have brought me here today. I'm sorry. That's all I have to say.

I have the most loving boyfriend. some part of me wished you've forced me to just get it over and done with. Yet some part of me wished you knew I'd like to give myself another chance to try harder next time. But I was just glad you were supportive anyhow. I'm more than grateful & I love you.

I have the most supportive friends too. I'm glad you never discriminate. Your excelling in your academics never once made you too proud for me, and I'm feel so so blessed that you still regard me as your friend. Not only you were never boastful, you recognised the good in me. What a god sent angel you guys are. You both endearingly said it's okay, you believe I'd be better next time. I appreciated your kindness and I take it all in so thankfully.

I'm just so glad that I didn't have to face any criticism and condemnation for they are really the last thing I need right now. Yet your comforting words sink me deeper into the depths of my guilty conscience. Therefore, I'm resolved to right this wrong.

I promise I won't let you guys down again. Not that I have anymore chances anyway. :p