Provocative prototypes

Had these for lunch! We're damn healthy people ain't we? Thanks to ming de and Jason for helping in the cutting! Haha.





Some jap cracker I got fr the office. Cute right! Haha!

Just remembered about this. I realized, that my wall paper has been changed. The culprit should be kaiwei if I was correct. & thanks for doing so, because I wouldn't have done it your way. It sure helped in abandoning the past. :)



I also remembered kaiwei saying that her dad said "eh peiru 很像很久没有来了oh?" I am so touched!! Haha! He actually misses me! And this reminded me of how kaiwei papa and mama addresses me in that very fatherly tone "佩如啊! 你吃饭了吗？" and kaiwei mama's classic ＂peipei!!!!" which sends me laughing each time she sees me.

Hahahha! Kaiwei papa & mama! I'll visit them soon! Lol!!!

Sometimes, I get discouraged by the things you do. I know why I'm feeling like this. But it should not happen at all. It's time to contemplate about the necessary, relinquish the emotional vices and shackles; return to the almost synthetic rationalities --this would probably mean a easier life, for you and for me.


- <3 carotene

possible illusions

i was petrified. it was one of those moments when i felt so helpless yet there's nobody there to guide me along. i almost cried, literally. but good thing you werent on the verge of dying; still, i just cant withstand the way you were suffering & fighting the aftermath of your booze disaster.

i know its retarded to go online & check things out with the people with relevant knowledge of how to deal with such stuffs. i was glad, though what i gathered wasnt actually put to good use, at least, you had somebody. (:

so sleep is burned. but i guess it's the adrenaline rush which never subsided from the 2 hour running. but i was glad the time was put to good use. but i still cant find woodlands driving centre! its driving me crazy already!LOL

i was afraid driving lesson at night would be affected, so i took a half day off from work to rest at home instead.

driving lesson was bad. i was on the real circuit for once. i still couldnt park. and my test date is on the 23rd?! omg omg omg. i cant help but panic right now. LOL. I SWEAR IM GONNA PASS THE FIRST TIME ROUND. GOD, PLEASE HELP ME SAVE ON MY MOOLAHS!

& i cant stand it but laugh out loud to myself at the sms orange sent me. he was like "anyway bian bian just broke one of his hand and one of his leg lea he crying for help now :) " the sheer randomness is damn funny lar!!! hahas.

my diet is working good. if everything goes well, 1 more month to go (:

& SADLY, MY CLIP FELL INTO THE TOILET BOWL. arghhh!

meeting shannie for dinner tomorrow. cant wait. (:

i'd cut you your favourite fruits, only if you'd allow, & feed you in the mouth, as we go down south (HAHAHAHAS I WAS TOTALLY KIDDING !!)

for those few moments, you were intoxicating. <3

tight times

today's work has kept me pretty busy. yet lunchtime were never disappointments. i have no desires for food of late, instead the very stale and rancid rancor towards the food centres left me feeling damn nauseous each time i walk through them.

so we decided to eat it in the pantry, where ventilation is way better.

i wonder if i should quote Mingde, because the things he says are really comical. another day perhaps, i'll update it here. im lazy now.

was damn angry tonight. because my tuition kid wasnt available at a earlier time. but i managed to keep my angsty self under wraps. i cant vent it all on her anyway. (:

thereafter was running. i tried to locate the new woodlands driving centre yet i cant seem to find it. i swear i got a good foothold of where the thing is supposed to be. im so disturbed by the fact that it's supposed to be nearby yet i dont see it anywhere! lol.

give me some clue please.

i wonder if today's choices were wise. but i didnt have the luxury of time to ponder much. all i knew was you needed me. whether it meant anything to you at all probably didnt matter. I'll have to make myself available anyhow.

& so i did.

outings with darlings

This is my Yan Shan darling, lunch partner for the day. Wanton mee in far east sucks, but nevertheless, i have her company! (: & it's good enough haha. She was so spontaneous to pose for me! & i took this for a reason. but i wont tell you what. it's our "secret" (:

Work was boring. i was browsing through ebay, wiki-ed on Shakespeare, & played this "Impossible" game, a free app on itouch with Jason, checking up on my uni application. it was damn lame lar!

so i wouldnt be surprised if my contract wasnt continued. LOL!! BUT cant blame me either wad. they dont wanna give me work! LOL!

AFTER WORK, i went off punctually at 5.30pm. and very quickly i found Kai wei and gang in SIM. only to find out that they are still rushing out their projects. but it's alright, i have the patience to wait (: & poor xuemin have actually waited for them for damned long already. LOL!

IM DISAPPOINTED THAT THEIR SCHOOL'S POPULAR DIDNT HAVE CARDS TO SELL.

this is an example whereby we have the money to spend, but nowhere to spend on. HAHA!

When i saw this, i went "woah, majestic scenery" Kaiwei replied "next time you have plenty of chances to see alr (since it's gonna be my school) i was like "CHOY!" because i dont wanna go SIM. hahs! I WANNA GO NUS & NTU!! )';

AHH, MY KAI WEI (: SO COOL!

MABEL'S FOOD (:

A Complimentary dish for students. we were so surprised because we didnt actually order this! (: and it turned out to be free for students. hahas. not as if i am, but i get to tap on the benefits anyway. LOL.

today isnt exactly what i expected to be, when i found out he had a girlfriend. it was totally uncalled for. & i am to a certain extent, very disturbed by this fact. I couldnt help it but to cry over the fact that it's really over. Im not angry with him at all, for all along i knew that this day would come. Yet, it was my fault that i kept avoiding reality only to find that i couldnt handle the hideous, unvarnished truth. it wasnt anyone's fault, yet putting the blame on him seem to be able to lift up my spirits in a warped way. so lets just let it be so. ):

Yet, im thankful to those who have been there. especially dumb dumb, who tried very hard to keep himself awake to make sure im alright that night itself. & Yan Shan, who had a colossal magnitude of emphathy to understand what i was actually going through, to comfort me the next day when we met up. & Kaiwei, who succumbed to fatigue that very night yet was the next one to be there early in the morning when she was conscious again. & the many many other people who tried to cheer me up in facebook, by sms, by calls and what nots.

like i said, i'm able to get through all these, easier than imagined because,

"i have one person to love, and a hundred loved ones to go through the breakup with me" & in this fact alone, im much richer than he is, because he wont have friends like mine. (:

& dumb dumb, allow me to be more specific this time. You are god sent. your careless humour & flair so innately gelastic always kept me amused & the laughter in continuity. I love to hang out with you because your compliant character never fails to make me feel at ease. & i've always loved the things you say which never fails to surprise me.

but i can't be too reliant. because at the end of the day, nobody will be there.

- <3>

Boring sundays

i've clean forgotten about today's driving lesson. Mabel's dad called. i woke up in shock and jumped out of my bed to get to bukit gombak as fast as i could.

so it was 20 mins lesson for $42. if i were the instructor, i'd like a student like myself. HAHAHAS!

then koh hwee kiat was damn hilarious lar. i was on the phone with kai wei. then kai wei betrayed him to show me this!
okay lar, not really considered betrayal, cause there's really nothing going on between khk and me ma. so Mabel, XueMin, Kai wei, Jo! all of u damn naughty lar!! (:

we're a clean slate okay!

somehow, i just cant believe you. i dont like 18-yr-old. i feel like asking her to back off. then again, you always seemed like you just wanted my attention. & i always gave it to you. i wonder if i should be there in 8 days time, when you have already forgotten the meaning of what we were in 7 days time. what we were in 547.5 days, 13140 hours, 788400 mins, and 47304000s. i wanted to tell you a secret. but you were off again. i wonder how should i tell you again, or if i should tell you.

I never really understood why it was me, why it was you.
遗忘了被爱的感觉。虽然很想记得，但害怕再次的伤害。所以如果我决定不再理会你，别怪我。
因为这一切，不是你的错。

post april fool & the random k.

Bad sleep again. then i decided to do something fun. when i woke up at around 12.30, i replied orange "i think i got fever"

he thought it was real.

then i went "post april fool!" HAHAHAS. sorry la. cheap thrill.

to my surprise, he said "actually i sick la. i woke up then vomit. feel so terrible now"

& I STUPIDLY BELIEVED HIM. lol. only to find out he 'post april fooled' back at me. HAHHAAS! FREAKING CHEAP THRILL!.

anyways, we went out later in the afternoon. mailed my documents for NUS we went up to party world. it was a super impromptu decision to sing k. and orange went "i participated in campus superstar before leh"

i laughed. because i thought it was so coincidental that i joined it toO! hahas! but it turned out to be him lying la. he still got the cheek to say "talk cock 免费的吗！"hahas!

thereafter, we went to watch the soccer match. & i'm sorry that it was 1-2. but it was alright, look on the bright side. man u wasn't thrashed that badly. lol.

playing "dai dee" on the magnified poker cards was a pain. it was my bad suggestion. & for that moment; after so long, i actually felt like sleeping without touching my iphone/itouch/book/com.

If you dont already know, your straightforwardedness always come incongruously impertinent, yet it has this very cute allure to it which makes me wanna give in to you all the time.

but it's wrong. it shouldnt be this way. we've got the sequence all jumbled. i wonder what would it take to perfect this. but im sure, it won't-- till i free my mind, & when you decide to occupy yours.

OMG OMG

it's 4.01am but im still stuck to the com. i'm devastated that i've missed the payment date for my NUS application. i managed to pay it immediately somehow, but i've got a threatening mail that if i fail to make payment by 1st april, my application will be voided. and today's already the 3rd.

to make matters worse, i've yet to submit the documents to them. SHYT!

there goes the opportunity. nevertheless, i just hope i could still apply, because i was able to pay.
it's driving me crazy now. HOW COULD I FORGET?!
my blog song couldnt be more apt than now. Im down tonight.

& what i fear most is happening. i dont want to be that way, yet i couldnt control. it's a real indication that, probably in reality, i have to resort to such abhorrence to the consumables.

aimless walkarounds

Didnt have a good sleep again, probably because i was always checking on my phone. It could also be because of the 4 mutiple alarms i set 30 mins prior to my "waking up" time too early.
it could also be because of the runs. that hindered my already retarded agility to perform the normal routines.

i am late for tuition.

yet im taking my own sweet time making cereal. picking clothes from the wardrobe. etc.
i have no sense of urgency.
i despise myself for being the way that i am. but i just have no motivation to keep things going the way it "should be".
neither do i care.

Tuition session could drive me to my grave earlier. my kid had to think what's 56/7 at the age of 13. she wrote a x a x a = 3a.
save me. i swear i taught her not to do that at least 1000 times.

after the despair, i went to orchard to look chatterbox up. (: he was a relief somehow from the morning that didnt start well. the desert shop which seemed to have folded was a regret. and we settled for the fruit shop in Far East for some Honeydew therapy.

no luck in shopping. wanted to buy lots of clothes to make Kai Wei jealous. but on second thoughts, maybe i should just bring her there someday. HAHA. i've got a pair of shorts anyway. but i need 4 more!!

Botak Jones was an easy find. luckily chatterbox didnt always have directional disasters. the last time when the bus stop he claimed was not there anymore, i've suffered a trauma since. HAHA.

& though we always have no idea where, you always have the know-how to make time pass easier than imagined (:

Full blown ziplocks

Jq came to pick me up from causeway point (:

this is tofu! (:

cousins outing! (:

super cam whores! (:

feelings "gao gao!" LOL!!

SORRY FOR THE UNGLAM PICTS AR! (:
after my k session, i rushhheddddd home to get showered, changed and off i go to kw's house for a round of mahjong. damn hectic lar. but i love my day to be packed (:

lost $2 even though i was leading from the start. the last few rounds was a killer as James kept winning it big. but it's alright. because i had lots of fun (: & i hate to be under James because he doesnt really feed me, and he doesnt allow me to win at all! HAHAHAS!

- <3 carotene

Location:Woodlands Square,,Singapore