Our love is so brittle like this

You have touched me in ways no other had. I remember all the sweet things you've done for me. I remember all the sweet things you've said to me. I remember your hugs and kisses. For so many months I've been waiting, it's difficult to believe I'm ending up with nothing now. The hug that would break my bones and tingle the deepest part of my heart would now never be felt again. all i am left with are our last days in april. Everytime I think about you my heart would ache a little. It seems like I gave up too fast. But it also seemed I'm left with no other choice. You never would be nicer to me, probably because im not worth that much to you. With our parting, it would bring so many regrets, but one thing I'll never come to terms with, is the fact that you never made me stay, you never tried to change, and from this, I know how little I meant to you, how insignificant my place is in your heart. 

Therefore, you've completed my list of reasons to leave. And that I, should give up this love for you to find one that you would really go all out for.

I'm just not The one. 

My heart bleeds at the thought of that. But some part of me wished you would make me stay by your side. You never even tried. My ego wouldn't let me walk myself back. Not even "Peiru, I need you" or "Peiru, please stay, I promise I'll change". 

If it was the other way round, I would fight for you. I would fight for this love. But this time I didn't, because I cannot live with someone who wouldn't love me only with half his heart. 

You're not ready for me. But I'm worth so much more. 

It's okay. I will be alright. I think will be alright. 

& just like this, you've become the ghost of my past. Haunting me during shivering cold nights, happy Sunday mornings and every single day of my adulthood. I will miss you this much. And I promise to keep all of our memories every single day, even if my heart bleeds.  

Because 오빠, you're worth this much to me. 

Tried calling you tonight. You didn't answer. Guess this is how it ends.