I don't want to define things, but I don't know what we are. So what if you were my boyfriend, so what if we keep things platonic. Friends can hold hands & friends can hug. But while we live in the moment, where would this lead us to? So what if we kiss and not tell, it doesn't make us any less intimate, & neither does it make us any closer. Sometimes I do miss, but I do think of the unspoken hard truths that you wouldn't stay for long. There's this phantom set of factors that deter me from expecting more, and my usual emotional self has acquired a new set of skills of self-control. I've grown more rational to not want things that are unrealistic and beyond my reach. How ingenious & perceptive & witty you always seemed to be only widened the distance between us. You were always sweet, & you embodied the idea of the romantic love I always covet & hanker after. Because of this reason alone I could choose to ignite brighter the fire of passion and love. It bring us closer & better. But what for? Your stay would be as short-lived as the flame on a birthday candle. Once the realization of the futility kicks in, there's really nothing much to look forward to but shadows of our past in a well spent summer break. If you were my perfect partner, with your leaving, what you bring along would be a series of my broken dreams, & what you leave behind will never be anything less than shards of a broken heart.
It's always difficult to love. But it's more difficult forget a future that I once had it so real, but knowing I'll never have it. So why not put a stop to all these delusive feelings that we have while we haven't defined anything yet?
Or should we revel in our remaining moments just to satisfy our transient infatuation?
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