probably, a new lease

Alright la, lets not be so emo anymore. (: yesterday was just too overwhelmed by what i was watching throughout the night, 下一站，幸福。 but the only thing that kept me watching was the really cute boy who never fails to make me laugh whenever he appears! If i ever got a kid, i'd want my kid to be just as cute as him! HAHA. the storyline, was a little farfetched to me. and the lines, not romantic enough, not enough!

went to Mabel's party today! (: shall upload pictures someday when i feel more like it. i've had really bad hands at mahjong today. kai wei and i lost $15. but it's alright. i should just get used to losing $ haha! i never had the luck at gambling.

& guess what, ashika came! didnt see her for quite some time already, and surprisingly we had alot to gossip about. HAHA. content wise, it shall be a secret (:

at night, was Chong Pang Nasi Lemak when goofy dropped by yishun to run some errands. we almost wanted to go home, grab our passports and leave for malaysia for supper! haha. but i was famished, i havent had a single bite since the lunch at Ambush with Hannin. so we decided to put off the idea for other occassions. i love the randomness of our irrational mind, and i really wouldnt mind the implusive deliberation though (:

just a side note. i'm tired of entertaining people. sometimes i just want to be entertained instead. if i'm that bubbly and clowny self, please immerse in that moment. because i feel that i'm slowing it all down, and those perhaps would be the last few moments you see prior to my transformation. i need to quieten down, i enjoy the silent company. sometimes if i dont talk to you, it doesnt make our session less enjoyable. because i love the silence. i preferred what the solace can communicate than verbal exchanges. & i love the fact that if we could be just together, not talking to each other. just looking at things, looking around. dont complain about why arent we speaking but contemplate our surroundings and take it all in.

if you'd love this idea. i'd love to go out with you.

-thought alot about you. perhaps, i should just stop thinking. & i should just go with the flow. if i hit a rock, i'd just stop. i dont wanna clean up the mess, i just want you to confess. tell me how you really feel, tell me why do you wanna hide. call me & i'd explain.

it's been 27 months. i'm forgetting how it feels like to be important. can you let me feel that again?


ps: Mabel, hope u loved my lovely happy birthday song on the violin! LOL!

思念

自从你离开之后，我曾经想过一个没有你的未来。 虽然生活还算能熬得过，但那些快乐只不过是虚构的，假设性的。你问过我，我现在是否是幸福？但你从未听过我的答案，你根本都没让我一次机会说真心话。你的离开，是我生命的转捩点。我不再相信有真正的幸福，不再对任何人有所期待，更加不想要有别的依靠；就算说出口的，也只不过是想引起你的注意力，看你是否还在乎我？我很想告诉你，没有你的日子很难过，我每一天都期待，期待着一个也许永远也不会实现的事实，那就是你那万分之一的可能性会回到我的身边。

为什么要那么的辛苦？放你走真的是正确的选择吗？

你说过，你曾经依依不舍，却同时为了我，你宁愿欺骗，说你已经不爱了。但是什么力量能让你那么坚决的把我抛在脑后，成为过去的记忆呢？

我不懂，也不理解，我只知道，

你是我无法抹去的以前，不想放掉的未来。
就是放不开。

-our intangible love, did it ever exist?